It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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