There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
