We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
