worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
