is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
