Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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