Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
