i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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