i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Someone came in the potted fern
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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