i just had sex bonerless
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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