my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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