You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
