when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
