i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
