I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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