Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
