I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
