i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
