he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I deserve this hangover.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
