I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
