im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
