??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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