Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
