Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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