put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
