Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

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(408): View more from California

we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(903): View more from Texas

He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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(713): View more from Texas

I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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(469): View more from Texas

I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign

(272): View more from

Be right there

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