Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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