Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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