I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
