True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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