strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
