I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
