But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
