i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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