The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
