i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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