so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize