well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
