I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
