Small penises have feelings too.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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