What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
