I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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