he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You're like the curious george of whores
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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