Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
