currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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