I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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