it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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