tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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