I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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