so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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