you would pick up someone in the library
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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