So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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