yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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