She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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