I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
