It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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