wat bout pragnant strippers??
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Randomize
