i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
