I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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