My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
